Dear Tops: If I Prepare To Bottom And You Cancel Our D*ck Appointment, You Catching These Hands

ON MY MOMMA! At the bare minimum you're getting cussed the f*ck out.  Hell hath no fury like a bottom left on read. We know its hard for some of you tops to fathom that you have to prep for sex, since all you have to do is show up with your musty a$$ balls in some gym shorts, but bottoms have to put in work.  

If we've scheduled a time for me to sit on your meat, that means we haven't eaten for at least 10 hours, maybe the past 24 hours, so on top of being horny we're hungry.  

We've been sitting on the toilet waiting for our Candy Crush lives to regenerate while we're waiting for the water to turn clear.  DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG THAT TAKES?!  DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT WE'RE GOING THROUGH?!

We're over here rubbing jolly ranchers around the hole so it will taste sweet and smell good and you fell asleep and can't answer the phone now?  You logged out bruh?  You were last active 5 mins ago?

We're sitting here, thinking it will all be worth it once you come over and beat this box into a coma.  You've sent us all sorts of nasty messages about how we'll be calling out your name and then you CANCEL? 

Its like renigging during a spades.  It should be considered a felony to waste our time.  

We don't care what you have going on.  F*ck that job, you don't need over time, you don't even like your boss.  Tell your mama you'll take her to the post office tomorrow.  We don't care your baby mother is tripping and won't let you use the car, UBER.  Period.  You could literally be on fire, you better bring that hose over here. 

We could have been doing a number of other things, namely some other n*gga that would actually show up with the dick.

So when we see you and pop you in the face, then block you on all platforms, bust the windows out of your car, get you fired from your job and burn down your apartment complex you know why.  Lawd knows you would shame us in the streets if we painted you, so its only fair.  

Don't play with peoples time, feelings and most importantly their boi hole!

This is why you gotta have back up dick on stand by.